Reflection

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  Every year the mere reminder of this causes me to reflect on what it means to me.

I'd like to say that our 3 year journey and the 5 losses we endured left me unscathed, but that would just be silly... because any person that has suffered the loss of a child (no matter what how far along in pregnancy, or after birth) has been forever changed.  Maxwell and Miles have definitely lifted most of darkness from that journey...but our journey has changed me.

I have 5 little angels that watch over us.  No longer do I let the details of their losses or their due dates take control of my emotions and leave me in dispair, but they are still in my heart.  Those babies are still thought of, missed, and forever loved.

Ironically I watched a movie last night in which the wife had a miscarriage.  She and her husband went to their OB appointment excited to hear their baby's heartbeat...only to hear nothing and ultimately to have the Dr have to tell them "I'm sorry".  The actress captured the range of emotions so well...it brought back all of those horrible appointments and all of those horrible "I'm sorry"s. 

Shame.  Anger.  Numbness.  Dispair.  Frustration.  Darkness.  All feelings that I wouldn't wish on any couple.

Hopefully Ectopic pregnancies will cease to exist.  Hopefully our journey has caused me to appreciate my 3 wonderful boys more.  And Hopefully I'm a better mama because of it. 

This post is dedicated to all the strong women out there that have endured any type of pregnancy or infant loss.  May peace and HOPE be with you....always.

Party in the USA

Ok...Ok...Ok...I dislike Miley as much as the next person, but I was cleaning the kitchen and her song came on Pandora and since the table was pushed to the side...the boys and I decided to have a dance off.  We had so much fun and they wanted to hear the song over and over, so I had to actually download that silly song to my iPhone and we danced it out.

See...cleaning isn't so bad!

Here are some pictures of our Dance off...

Got my hands up...they're playin' my song...

Noddin' my head like, "yeah!"...

Movin' my hips like, "yeah!"

YEAH...it's a party in the USA!!

Emma Krumbee's Apple Orchard 10.3.09

Trying to enjoy my favorite time of year and had a brief break from the rain, so we took the boys out to an apple orchard for some family time and picture opps.  We had a great time and although it was a little chilly out...the boys enjoyed the freedom of running around and thought picking their own apples off of trees was pretty cool.

Max enjoying the train ride

Mama and Miles

Miles having fun on the tractor that Max thought was "cool", but was scared to get on

Hmmm...suddenly the tractor didn't look so scary!  A little peer pressure can be good sometimes

Moes cheating in the Rope Maze...he just walked under the ropes.  LOL

It's like pulling teeth to get a picture with these boys.  Even harder to get them to smile in one!

Moes eating the apple he pulled himself.

Mama and Max.  I had to tell him his Papa was a "Poopy pants" in order to get a smile out of him.  Has it come to this really??!

Papa being silly and showing Moe how you REALLY bite into an apple.

Enjoy your fall everyone!